In Staying Sober

We rarely hear the positive stories in the news. We’re not shocked by the statistics anymore. We’re more likely to see a Rest in Peace social media post than a post celebrating a friend’s recovery milestone. While we need to remain aware of this gruesome reality — we must also share stories of hope if we’re ever going to move forward.

I’ll go first. I’m nobody special. I’m a girl who likes to write, I’m in long-term recovery, and I believe that if I can do it, then anyone can.  

The Early Days: Drinking to Live

In 2007, I was 18 years old. I worked two waitressing jobs, was living the single life for the first time since middle school, and if “club rat” was in the dictionary — my picture would’ve been beside the definition. I worked in the industry and had a high-quality fake ID, so going out after work was my nightly routine. Waking up with no memory of the night before was a typical morning.

I experienced my fair-share of consequences. I lost a couple jobs, got a DUI, frequently had my utilities shut off — but in my head, this was a normal day-in-the-life of a newly-single young adult. These minor setbacks were no match for the disease I didn’t know I had.

So if you’re anything like me, you know how the next couple of years went — there’s no need to dive into every detail.

I lost count after losing my 25th job. I was assaulted in every way you can be. I was hours away from death due to malnutrition. My one-year probation sentence turned into three.

And so on… And so on…

The Turning Point

I was bulimic for twelve years and had a rare blood disorder, so I wasn’t in good enough shape to be engaging in any of the nonsense I was putting myself through. My tolerance grew at a sci-fi pace; within three years of daily drinking, I was at the point where I’d have to drink every 4-6 hours to not start going into withdrawal, totaling about 2 standard bottles of 70-100pt liquor.

On June 14th, 2011, I hallucinated for about six hours before I called 911 and told them there had been a shooting in my house (Spoiler Alert: there was no shooting anywhere near my house).

To make a long story short, I experienced psychosis due to DTs (Delirium Tremens) and found myself in the local psych ward. Additionally, I was assigned a case manager who would change my life forever.

I had been so wrapped up in the daily maintenance of alcoholism that I didn’t even know that someone like me could go to rehab. I assumed treatment centers were for the rich and famous. When my case manager told me my insurance would cover it, I broke into tears.

I was broken. I was ready. I felt like I had just been released from the prison I created for myself.

I went to a program for drug & alcohol treatment. I was so clueless and knew nothing about this whole world of recovery. I listened to everything I was told because somewhere, deep down, I wanted to live and not just exist.

Life 2.0 in Recovery

By a miracle, I completed rehab. I even moved into a transitional living home, where they allowed me to get a job while staying in treatment part-time.

Within that time, I saved up enough for a down-payment on a gross, roach-infested, old 400 square foot apartment, despite my credit score is lower than the scale is built to go.

But, I didn’t care because it was mine. After living on people’s couches, the streets, in hospitals, and in institutions — I had my very own apartment. I felt secure and stable, and it was the best feeling that I had ever experienced at that point.

I didn’t care that I had a two-hour bus ride to work and a two-hour bus ride home. I had this new sense and feeling of… normalcy. It’s a kind of joy that no one except an addict or alcoholic can ever understand.

Early recovery is hard, and I’m sure everyone agrees. I won’t lie, I messed up a few times, but I had the relationships, skills, and knowledge that I gained in treatment and support groups to get back on track. I can now proudly say that I’ve been sober since November 3rd, 2013.

What my life is like now:

  • I set up a payment plan with the courts, finished the requirements, and completed probation.
  • I bought a car that I drive legally.
  • I can go grocery shopping when I’m hungry.
  • I am a parent to two beautiful fur-babies.
  • I’ve helped other alcoholics and addicts.
  • I developed a healthy, adult relationship with another addict in long-term recovery.  
  • Was asked to be a bridesmaid in my very strained relationship with my best friend.
  • My girlfriend and I moved across the country into my dream apartment.
  • Our apartment has a home office. My bed and stove don’t even share a room.
  • And most recently, my girlfriend became my fiancee.

I remember the days where I would hear those annoying, happy people speak in 12-step meetings about “living a life beyond their wildest dreams” and I immediately dismissed them. They weren’t as far gone as me. They didn’t understand.

Until I became one of those annoying, happy people. And I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

If you or a loved one is in need of help for a drug and alcohol problem, contact Pax House treatment center today at (888) 572-1724. One of our caring treatment consultants will help you today.

Recent Posts
Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Sober Living in Pasadena California