My parents would be able to tell you now that I always have had an addictive personality. When I was two-years-old I would always pretend to be something that I’m not, or immerse myself in a fantasy world. My first experience with getting loaded was when I was 12-years-old and a couple of friends and I stole some alcohol from my parents. I quickly became intoxicated enough to vomit on myself, weep, and was unable to control my movements. When I woke up the next day I knew that what I had done the night before would be able to push my feelings away and use it as a coping mechanism.

 

  I don’t need to go into graphic detail about my using history because it is long and painful and I know that I qualify as a drug addict and an alcoholic. I struggled with getting clean from the moment I turned 18 and my parents sent me to a drug and alcohol rehab in Pasadena, CA. I didn’t want sobriety so I didn’t try. Detoxes, psychiatric wards, and emergency rooms were all a big part of my life for the following three and a half years. February 8th, 2019 I got kicked out of sober living in Pasadena and went to a detox center to get a bed. After the worst 5 days of my life, I told the social worker to call Pax House for me (I knew nothing about it) and I was promptly picked up and taken to my new home and what ultimately became a new family for me.

 

I was very scared but quickly started learning about addiction and how it affects everything around me. I shed many tears and had many laughs while I was slowly gaining more insight into the recovery process. It was extremely hard but I kept trying my best and I am more than happy with the results. Pax House is a miracle worker and made it easy enough to actually be able to digest all aspects of recovery.

 

Today I have more than 100 days of sobriety and every part of my life has been getting better. Mental illness, emotional issues, fear, are all becoming smaller and smaller and I love my life today. I am currently in Pax’s outpatient rehab also located in Pasadena, CA and I live in a sober living just around the corner. I will be forever grateful to all the staff for teaching me about the recovery process but also teaching me to love myself for the very first time.

 

Houston P., Pax House Alumnus